brother

This is my brother David.
He needs your prayers.
i love him.

what

im at a point in my life where i can say im perfectly content.
i have my school work which is pretty simple.
i have my job which is almost easy.
i have my boy friend that puts up with every little thing i say. i love him so much. i love people. but these days. i cant stand to be in a crowd of people bigger than 4...
i cant stand the fact the i have to be able to just sit there in that group breathe in, breathe out, and be expected to laugh. which all i feel is slight claustrophobia--emotionally.
so i separate myself. from everyone. all the time. im always at a coffee house. getting drunk off caffeine. and eating muffins.
im twitching right now thinking of how wonderful it would be to leave this room and read at a coffee house... i want to... but i think im getting addicted to coffee, and being alone.
the bible is NOT a text book. but if they want me to read it. i wouldnt tell the kids to read 1st and 2nd kings. thats just alot in a couple days...and hard for the ADD coffee addicted loner.
prayers welcomed.
and muffins.

more

i want to do alot of good things this year--
in the name of the Lord.
the school year is starting soon.
and now its Gods time to shine-- through me.
i aspire to do more than i have.
to find a church, and love it. and work there. to work with middle schoolers in south dallas, and watch them grow in the Lord.
i am excited about this year. because i know its going to be a good one. despite all the changes that we have gone through at DCC. the Lord is doing something good here. and i want to be here this year to see it happen. so i sit here and wait in excitement of what plans the Lord will unveil in all of our lives here. [i just hope i dont get warn down. and do too much] im going to take 15 hours, work. do south dallas stuff a couple days. SLT. and find a church where i can serve. theres not enough hours in the day. so much to do. so little time. But God will handle it. he always does.

you

feel

i dont feel good..
GRACE
im so glad for.
but i still feel like trash for the things ive done.
regrets...will follow me..
[please go away regrets. ]

some days are better than others.

God is attempting to teach this stubborn soul of mine.

teach my stubborn soul.

take me away from here.

take me home Lord.

take me to the place i Love.

take me to the people i Love.

here i live in TN...

i miss the way summertime used to feel.

i want to sit on the middle cushion with the lord...

i just want to feel. better. good. rest.

summer

starting summer.
not in Italy this time.
America. a culture shock in itself.
camp. culture shock.
going out of my comfort zone.
this will be interesting.
[i finished the whole Friends series.]
a song that rings true to my life.
"So no one told you life was gonna be this way
Your job's a joke,
you're broke,
your love life's D.O.A.
It's like you're always stuck in second gear
When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month,
or even your year, but... I'll be there for you"
time to go out there and be a "big" girl for the summer.
when ya just don't wanna.
or just don't care.
or just don't wanna care.
im doing this for you God.
please be pleased with me.
bc i know you love the me now,
and your not waiting to love the future version of me.
so ill put my seat belt on, and be ready for the a long learning summer.

sooner

the heart beats
the breath enters
the breath exits
and again another day i live
it wasn't as painful as i thought it to be
low expectations, high results
"but what does the future have in store? -- i dont know. but im just going to let today be today-- im going to wake up in the morning, put a smile on my face...and not rack my brain..."
im working on.
finding peace sooner than we think.