Life

I miss life.
I miss feeling so free-to do anything.
when did life get so complicated?
Im crushed.
I haven't updated this in over 2 years.
That must have been when my inspiration of lifes beauty vanished.
The Lord has really been opening my eyes to things lately.
I have to get out of Dallas, but where can i drag my husband with me?
My heart has been heavy for certain parts of the country lately.
I want to make mission work my full time career.
I want to start a non profit.
I want to be apart of something so much bigger than myself.
I want to be able to feed the hungry, clothe and shelter the homeless.
I want to be able to make a difference in a community.
I do not want to waste my life anymore.
I have said "i"7 times! But when has my life been about me!?!
That's the problem. This world has made life so convenient for us, that we get pissed off when things don't go our way.
I want to simplify my life, and go out into the world serving, and loving others like Jesus did.
Being a receptionist I can make a little money, and do a little good. But its so small. So insignificant. I want to do something huge!
This is my only life! Why has that thought not just stopped us in our tracks?
Why aren't we livid that we are not living our lives to the fullest?
The Lord calls to me, he speaks softly, just waiting for me to pay attention.
He brings thoughts to my mind, and inspires me to do something big.
The other day God shouted. He reminded me. He lit that flame in me that holds the passion for his name, and for his people. I am not satisfied with my life and where it is and what i am doing with it as of now. And as Solomon has said, we will never be satisfied...But when we are serving the Lord. He mentioned how all the pety things in life will never make us feel full or truly happy except for when we are serving the Lord.
Well then, I dedicated nearly 5 years of my life to wanting to do mission work. This is what i want to do full time. And i swear ppl dont get it. Because as a christian we are only supposed to live our lives out while we are working, and just be that good example to the non believers around us. Well thats not enough for me.
I pray the Lord will continue to inspire me into doing what i am ready and willing to do.
I am reading, i am researching, and i am ready to do something...it'll be big.
I always knew the Lord had something awesome out there for me to do.
Even though im still searching, i feel im one step closer.
O Lord.
anyways, those are my thoughts.